Take Away My Control
by The Wayward Angel
Summary: Jim needs someone to take away his control, and he only trusts one person to do it. Spock.
1. Chapter 1

**Author: The Wayward Angel  
Story: Take Away My Control  
Word Count: 870  
Chapter: 1/5  
Pairings: Spock/Kirk  
Warnings: BDSM, D/S, established relationship, slash, explicit sex in later chapter, angst, fluff  
Summary: Jim needs someone to take away his control, and he only trusts one person to do it. Spock.**

**Disclaimer: Star Trek is still not mine. *cries***

**AN: Inspiration for this chapter comes from the story Ten by honeyandtherock. Go read it, it's awesome.**

_Take Away My Control_

James Tiberius Kirk was always in control. He was Captain of the_ Enterprise_, total ladies' man, and the leader of his friends. The one that everyone went to for advice. The one that could charm a girl's panties off (except Uhora, it seemed) with a simple grin. And the one that was currently naked and kneeling in the bedroom of his Vulcan First Officer.

It is a widely known fact that men in power, to remain sane, often must relinquish control for short periods of time; and there was only one person that Jim trusted to give control over to. Spock. It was...well, it was the logical choice. Kirk had to admit though, however begrudgingly, that he had not made his choice solely on logic. He had made most of his decision on emotion, emotion that he did not acknowledge out loud in fear of losing his Captaincy and being mocked by his colleagues. Luck on his side though, Spock never questioned his emotions or invaded his mind during their time together. As far as his First knew, they were doing this only for the purpose of his mental health.

"Hands behind your back T'hy'la." Spock said, staring down at his PADD, not giving Jim even a cursory glance.

Jim's arms immediately locked behind his back in a gesture of submission. T'hy'la...Spock had taken to calling him that lately when they were alone, but the Captain didn't know what it meant. He asked Spock, once, but his First had merely stared at him and then walked away.

"Quit fidgeting." The sharp voice cut through the silence, almost making Jim flinch, but he held himself still, his eyes trained to the floor.

"Yes sir." The Captain said in a soft voice. He forced his mind not to wander, as that was the primary cause to his fidgeting. He just couldn't help it though. His mind raced a thousand miles a second when he was left to wait for his Master like this.

* * *

Spock glared at the young Captain from his desk, watching as the man fidgeted on the floor, shifting weight from knee to knee. When Kirk had first asked him to do this he had been reluctant, but in the past few months he found that he _enjoyed _their time together and, however illogically, actually felt more than just lust for the human.

"James." He said, his voice cold.

The young man froze, his gaze still locked on the floor, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

"I told you to stop fidgeting and yet you continue to do so. Do you like disobeying my orders?"

"No sir."

"And yet you always do." The blond man nearly whimpered. "Get on the bed, on your stomach. _Now._"

Kirk scrambled to obey, laying himself out on the Vulcan's bed. Spock stood up gracefully and crossed the room in quick strides. He picked up the cane from his closet, running his fingers along the wood gently, "You're getting ten. Count them." And with that the First Officer placed a hand gently on the small of the Captain's back.

The comforting gesture was largely out of place for them and Spock, briefly, wondered if he had overstepped his bounds; but since Jim did not move he left his hand there and brought the cane down hard (not as hard as he could, mind you) on Jim's backside.

* * *

Jim heard the 'crack' of the cane and felt pain bloom across his naked backside. "O-One." He stuttered out. The cane was raised again and came down harder than the last, just a fraction lower. "T-Two." He gasped. Three, four, and five came in rapid succession, bringing tears to his eyes and bruises to his thighs, backside, and that very sensitive area just below the curve of his ass. Six and seven made him jerk, but Spock's hand on his lower back kept him from moving. At eight the first tears broke free. And by ten he a sobbing mess on the Vulcan's sheets, bruises already blooming on his backside and the back of his thighs.

Kirk did not move as his Master moved away, pressing against the small of his back gently as a signal not to move. The man returned a few moments later with a jar of salve for his bruises and James felt relief flood his system.

"I will always take care of you, T'hy'la, rest now."

"What does that mean, Spock?" Jim asked, knowing that they were taking a break from their game.

"It is not a word that translates." The Vulcan First replied.

Jim really wanted to press the issue, but he was tired and sore. It would have to wait. With a small sigh of resignation James drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author: The Wayward Angel  
Story: Take Away My Control  
Word Count: 842  
Chapter: 2/5  
Pairings: Spock/Kirk  
Warnings: BDSM, D/S, established relationship, slash, explicit sex in later chapter, angst, fluff  
Summary: Jim needs someone to take away his control, and he only trusts one person to do it. Spock.**

**Disclaimer: Star Trek is still not mine. *cries***

_Take Away My Control_

Spock sat on the bed, watching Jim as the Captain slept. Since the man was asleep he felt more comfortable with touching him. The Vulcan wiped away the tears drying on his lover's face. He was conflicted. He knew that Jim only wanted these meetings to be about his mental health, but he actually cared about this overemotional, irrational man. Cared about him enough to call him his T'hy'la. He had not been lying when he said the word did not translate, but he felt...and that was just it, wasn't it? This idiotic, brilliant man that trusted him with his life and body had made him _feel_.

The First Officer ran his fingers through his T'hy'la's blond hair. The man looked so innocent and vulnerable when he was sleeping. Spock got up from the bed and sat back down at his desk, waiting for Jim to wake.

* * *

Jim groaned softly as he woke, his backside throbbing from the caning an hour previous. "Spock," He mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he woke.

"Yes Jim?" His First said, raising an eyebrow.

"What does Th...Tra la la-"

"T'hy'la."

"That. What does that mean?"

"Let it go Jim."

"As your Captain I order you to-"

Spock stood up quickly, cutting Kirk off mid-sentence. If looks could kill James T would be six feet under the ground. "In this room, am I your First Officer?"

"I-"

"Yes or no, James." Came the growl.

"No sir." James mumbled.

"What was that?"

"No sir, you are not my First Officer in this room."

"And are you my Captain?"

"No sir."

"No sir, _what_?"

"No sir, I am not your Captain."

Spock fixed his stare on the younger man, "Then what makes you think you can pull rank in here? Do you want another caning Jim?"

"No!" Jim yelped, his face panicked, "No sir."

Spock's face did not change but his eyes softened. He wouldn't hurt Jim, that's not what this was about. "I will not hurt you, T'hy'la."

"I know." Kirk said softly, his soft, blue eyes staring at the floor.

The Vulcan crossed the room to sit on the bed next to the human. "What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"I want to know what Tra la la-"

Spock's eyes narrowed, "T'hy'la, Jim."

"Yeah, I want to know what that means."

* * *

Spock did not sigh -Vulcan's did not sigh- but he came close. He closed his eyes for a moment. On one hand, he could come clean, let Jim know and lay it all on the line. One the other hand, he could lie, and use his position as Master to forbid Jim from asking the question again. Logically, he knew he should lie, keep his Captain from knowing how he truly felt, but...

"Do you really want to know?"

Kirk nodded.

The First held up a hand near the blond man's face, "May I?"

Kirk nodded again.

Spock took a deep breath and arranged his fingers to the meld points on Jim's face.

* * *

It felt kind of like someone taking his hand and tugging him forward. Jim followed along willingly as thoughts and memories and _feelings_ rushed to him.

_Admiration, Irritation. Jim implementing a sub-routine into the _Kobayashi Maru. _The grin on his face when it had worked._

_Annoyance, Pride. Jim running onto the Bridge to tell them they were warping into a trap. Locking down his emotions in favour of logic to get his point across. Standing by Spock's side as they exited warp._

_Anger, Grief. Abandoning Jim on Delta Vega._

_Rage, Confusion. Jim beaming aboard the_ Enterprise_ mid-warp. Spock nearly killing him on the Bridge. Jim becoming acting Captain._

_Joy. Jim making it back to the _Enterprise _with Pike._

_Pride, Love (?). Jim becomes the new Captain of the _Enterprise _and makes him First Officer._

Then newer memories, the emotions so complex, running together, making it almost impossible to discern them.

_Jim and McCoy bantering in the Mess._

_Jim laughing, his head thrown back and his smile brighter than a thousand suns._

_Jim covered in grease and grime from helping Scotty on the Engineering deck._

_Jim standing on the Bridge and staring out at the stars and planets, his smile soft and genuine, his eyes crinkled in simple joy._

_Jim asking Spock to help take away his control._

_Jim looking soft and vulnerable beneath Spock, his eyes clouded in lust and pleasure, his lips parted in ecstacy._

_Jim's body covered in cuts and bruises from a close call on a hostile planet._

_Jim covered in bruises from his time together with Spock._

And with one fleeting emotion of love, lust, pain, joy, admiration, annoyance, guilt, pleasure came a single word.

T'hy'la.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author: The Wayward Angel  
Story: Take Away My Control  
Word Count: 1, 036  
Chapter: 3/5  
Pairings: Spock/Kirk  
Warnings: BDSM, D/S, established relationship, slash, explicit sex in later chapter, angst, fluff  
Summary: Jim needs someone to take away his control, and he only trusts one person to do it. Spock.**

**Disclaimer: Star Trek is still not mine. *cries***

_Take Away My Control_

It had been one week. One very _long _week in which Spock had not spoken to Kirk unless he was forced to, and even then his voice was cold and flat. After the meld Kirk had not said a word, he simply pulled on his clothes and went back to his own quarters. James T Kirk was not scared, he was absolutely terrified. Terrified he would lose his Captaincy, his ship, his crew. But more terrified that Spock wouldn't take him back. Terrified that he had lost his best friend forever.

He knew that he was being a coward, and if there was one thing Jim wasn't it was a coward. The Captain sighed and stood from the Captain's chair, "Chekov, you have the conn. Mr. Spock come with me." He said, walking to the turbolift.

"Aye sir." Chekov said, looking a bit confused.

Spock stood and followed the Captain, his icy air following him.

Jim took the turbolift to the residential floor, leading Spock to his quarters, engaging the privacy lock behind them. "I'm sorry." He said.

Spock's spine stiffened but his face showed nothing. He stared at Kirk in silence.

"I-" Jim cleared his throat, looking small and vulnerable in front of the Vulcan, "I was scared, so I ran. I shouldn't have. I should have been honest from the beginning."

"Please get to the point, Captain, so I may resume my shift." Spock said coldly.

Jim took a deep breath. He was going to go for broke. He squared his shoulders and looked Spock dead in the eye, "I love you too, T'hy'la."

An unregistered emotion crossed Spock's face before he quickly schooled it away. The Vulcan stared at Jim for a moment longer before leaving the room.

* * *

_Jim should have been back by now_. Kept running through Spock's mind.

The crew was investigating a disturbance on Rigel IV. Kirk had beamed down to the surface along with ensigns Thomas and Harris. That had been over an hour ago. Suddenly a panicked voice rang through the communicator, "Harris to _Enterprise_, beam us up! Thomas-" there was a crackle of static, "dead. Captain -static- injured."

Spock felt his heart fall down into his stomach. He hurried to the transporter -giving the conn to Sulu- where an ensign (Ross? Cross? Something like that) was working frantically to get Harris and Kirk back on board. Finally the two appeared on the transporter pad and Spock sucked in a breath. Jim was unconscious, three deep lacerations -claw marks- cutting down his chest and right forearm. His blond hair was matted with blood and sweat. He had bruises forming on his face and neck. Forget his heart being in his stomach, it had just been kicked across the floor.

"Jim..."

* * *

McCoy was pissed. He was seriously getting tired of seeing his dumbass best friend lying pale and lifeless on one of the beds in his medbay. Would he ever learn? No. Because it was Jim, and Jim was perfectly happy to give his life for his friends and crew. Leonard wouldn't change him for the world. That didn't mean he wasn't angry at the asshole for coding twice on his table though.

"Dr. McCoy," Spock's voice cut through the silence, "How is he?"

Leonard turned his face to the First Officer, a sarcastic 'just fucking dandy' on his tongue until he looked the man in the eyes. The green-blooded hobgoblin looked damn near heartbroken. Bones swallowed back his disdain. "He coded twice on the table. He's got two broken ribs that punctured his lung, two fractured ribs, lacerations on his chest and right arm, nerve damage to the right arm, a shattered collarbone, fractured skull, and we stopped the internal bleeding. He's stable for now, but he's not out of the woods yet."

"So he'll recover." Spock replied in an even tone.

Bones bristled, "Goddammit man, did you not hear me? He coded _twice _on the fucking table. He _died _on me _twice_. Are you a machine? Do you feel _nothing_?"

Spock's face fell slightly and the man looked away, "Of course I do." He answered, "I love him."

McCoy gaped for a second before groaning, "C'mon you pointy-eared bastard, I'll take you to see him."

Spock's eyebrow raised, "I am not-"

"Trust me, you are."

* * *

Jim moaned in pain as he woke, squinting his eyes at the bright light of the medbay. His head pounded and he was pretty sure he'd been run over by a damn Mack truck.

"You better be in fucking pain. You scared the hell out of all of us." Came a sharp voice.

Jim would have grinned if it didn't hurt to move his face, "Hey Bones."

McCoy glared down at the young Captain, scanning him with his tricorder, "You can take your hey and shove it up your-"

"Dr. McCoy," Spock called as he entered the medbay, "Is-Jim?"

"Hey Spock." This time Jim did flash a small smile. "How long-"

"Two days, three hours, and eleven minutes."

"Bones, can you give us five minutes?" Kirk asked.

His friend glared at him but then sighed, "Five minutes, not a second more." He said before leaving, grumbling something about green-blooded hobgolblins and heroic little pretty boys.

Jim motioned for Spock to come sit by him and Spock took the chair next to the bed, "How are you feeling?" The Vulcan asked.

"Like hell." Jim replied, "How long til we get back to Spacedock?"

"We've already arrived."

"I'm assuming Bones put me on medical leave."

"For the next two months."

"Two-?!"

"_James_."

Jim looked up at Spock with wide, doe-eyes, "Yes sir."

Spock's eyes softened and he took ahold of the Captain's left hand, twining their fingers together. "Two months is not forever, T'hy'la."

James' eyes locked on Spock's and a stupidly wide grin spread across his face, "If you say so."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author: The Wayward Angel  
Story: Take Away My Control  
Word Count: 995  
Chapter: 4/5  
Pairings: Spock/Kirk, implied Sulu/Chekov and McCoy/Uhura  
Warnings: BDSM, D/S, established relationship, slash, explicit sex in later chapter, angst, fluff  
Summary: Jim needs someone to take away his control, and he only trusts one person to do it. Spock.**

**Disclaimer: Star Trek is still not mine. *cries***

_Take Away My Control_

Lt. Uhura was a smart woman. It was one of the reasons she and Commander Spock had dated for a short time. She was remarkably insightful. So when Kirk was cleared for duty back on board the_ Enterprise_ and had let his hand linger on the First Officer's arm just a little too long, Uhura knew something was up. And when Spock's lips had tilted up in a small tick of a smile, Uhura sat in shock.

It simply wasn't possible. There was absolutely no way-

"Lt. Uhura, is everything all right?" The Captain asked, his brow creased in worry.

Uhura smiled brilliantly, "Just glad to have you back, Captain." She said, turning back around, ignoring the look of confusion the Captain sent her.

Actually, it wasn't all that surprising, Spock and Kirk. They went well together. Spock's rationality and logic balancing out Kirk's irrationality and gut instinct. But, she silently promised herself, she would kill them if they hurt each other. Her best friend and her Captain. Uhura grinned.

* * *

Chekov was smart, a genius really; he understood logic and theories that would stump people twice his age. In fact, First Officer Spock, and maybe Chief Engineer Scott, were probably the only two beings on bored that were more intelligent.

It had been one day since Captain Kirk had gotten back when he saw it. Commander Spock and Captain Kirk were thirty minutes late to the Bridge. Kirk, well, that wasn't too surprising, he was always late; but Spock was always at least fifteen minutes early. What confirmed Chekov's suspicions though, was the tiny bloom of a hickey just slightly above the Captain's collar.

Chekov was sorely tempted to point it out to the rest of the crew, but refrained. Obviously the two would come out when they were ready. With that final thought, the Navigator plugged in the coordinated for their new mission.

* * *

Lt. Hikaru Sulu had always prided himself on being able to read people well. He had picked up on Chekov's crush on him after three days -he'd had a crush on the younger male too, but waited until the Navigator had turned eighteen before they started dating. He discovered Uhura and McCoy after one week. So, when it had taken him three months to figure out Kirk and Spock, he'd been disappointed in himself.

Kirk, Chekov, and ensign Robbins had beamed down to Hikaras II, and, as usual, Jim had managed to get himself injured. Not badly, just a minor concussion, but Sulu had gone down to the medbay to check on the Captain anyway when it happened. He stopped just outside the doorway. Spock and Jim were inside, their hands laced together, not noticing Hikaru at the door.

Sulu turned around and went back to the Bridge, grinning the entire way.

* * *

McCoy had known since before the two had become an official couple that something had happened between them. Spock had told him he loved Jim just after the incident on Rigel IV. He no longer had the energy to yell or throw them out of the medbay whenever one visited the injured other. After the third time of trying to kick out Spock (Jim was usually the one injured. Dumbass.) he simply threw up his hands in defeat.

"Fine! Do what you want! But the moment I walk in on the two of you having sex, I quit."

From then on Jim used his Captain's code to lock Bones out of the medbay when they were alone. Bones made sure to return the favour by doing the same when he and Lt. Uhura were alone.

* * *

Scotty was the last to know. Not because he wasn't smart enough to figure it out, but because he was secluded on the Engineering deck and never saw them.

The day he did it immediately made sense. The Cap'n and the Commander. Brilliant. He might've never noticed it if he hadn't caught Spock wiping a smudge of grease from Kirk's cheek when they thought they were alone.

Scotty had back paddled from the room, heading into another part of the deck, grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

Jim was a smart man, even if he didn't always act it. He'd heard the conspiritorial whispers and seen the knowing looks. It was making him uneasy.

"Chekov, how long to Andoria?"

Chekov grinned back at him, "Two hours, Keptin."

"Two hourse, three minutes." Spock corrected.

"Two hours was close enough, Mr. Spock."

Sulu and Chekov snickered.

"Okay, what the hell is going on with all of you? You're seriously starting to freak me out."

"It's nothing Captain." Uhura grinned.

"See!" Jim exclaimed, "That's exactly what I'm talking about! You _never_ smile at me!"

"It seems we've been found out Captain." Spock replied.

Jim flushed, "I-I have no idea what you're talking about."

His crew gave him a look. Seriously. Everyone.

"We're not stupid Captain." Sulu said seriously.

Jim shrunk down in his chair, "It's not-"

"James." Spock said sternly.

This was probably the worst day of his life, not including the day before Rigel IV when Spock had rejected his confession.

Uhura's face softened and she stood, crossing over and placing a gentle hand on his arm, "We don't care Jim. Obviously you and Spock can seperate your seperate lives from work, and you've always made a great team. We support you."

"Thank you, Luitenant." Kirk said, relief evident on his face.

Uhura patted his arm and sat back down, turning back to her station.

Jim grinned. He had the best crew of anyone in any universe, hands down.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author: The Wayward Angel  
Story: Take Away My Control  
Word Count: 550  
Chapter: 5/5  
Pairings: Spock/Kirk  
Warnings: BDSM, D/S, established relationship, slash, explicit sex in later chapter, angst, fluff  
Summary: Jim needs someone to take away his control, and he only trusts one person to do it. Spock.**

**Disclaimer: Star Trek is still not mine. *cries***

_Take Away My Control_

"Lay down T'hy'la." Spock whispered, running his sensitive fingers across Jim's cheek gently.

Jim quickly scrambled back on the bed, lying down on his back. He shivered as Spock pressed their pointer and middle fingers together. Vulcan kiss. He liked those. His shiver deepened as his Master brushed their lips together. Regular kiss. He liked those too.

Spock ran his hands down Kirk's arms before pressing them against the bed, "Don't move." He said.

"Yes sir." Jim replied.

Spock kissed his lips softly, the barest of touches, making Jim whine beneath him. Spock continued kissing him lightly, over and over, before finally moving down to his neck, licking and nibbling at the tanned column of flesh, sucking little bruises on the gorgeous skin.

Jim whimpered, resisting the urge to plunge his fingers into silky black hair. He moaned softly as Spock began to bite at his collar bone, his lover's delicate fingers running along his chest.

His First slid gracefully down his body, licking a nipple and taking it into his mouth. Jim mewled, clenching his hands into fists. Spock pulled back and stared at the Captain for a moment before pulling out a bottle of lube from under the pillow and handing it to Jim. "Prepare yourself for me." He said.

Jim nodded and poured the lube into his hand, slicking up three of his fingers, arching his hips off the bed. Spock placed a pillow beneath him and Jim smile gratefully. He took a deep breath and pressed a finger in slowly, relaxing his body. He stretched himself quickly and efficiently, squirming just a little under the intense gaze of his T'hy'la. Finally, he pulled his fingers from his body, "Ready sir." He said in a hoarse voice.

Spock smiled lightly, bringing Kirk's hands over his head, threading their fingers together. He pressed a kiss to Jim's forehead, "mine." He whispered.

"Yours." Jim agreed.

Spock pressed into his bond-mate, a wave of affection overcoming him. He rocked into the Captain, forcing out mewls and whimpers from the man.

When Jim came it was at a slow build, burning like a low fire in his body before finally releasing. He came with his Master's name on his lips and a whimper. Spock came shortly after with a mumbled and a kiss.

After his love had pulled out and cleaned the two of them, he lay back down with his Captain, running his fingers through blond hair, scratching his scalp lightly.

"Spock?" Jim sighed sleepily.

"Yes T'hy'la?"

"Taluhk nash-ver k'dular." The words were clumsy and not quite right, but the message was there none the less.

Spock's face softened and he pulled his bond-mate closer, "I love you too, Jim."

**Fin**

**AN: So I sat down to write porn and I somehow developed a plot and minimal porn. So I may do some oneshots based off of this later on. Anyway, let me know what you think and thanks for reading!**


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